SCUBA Diving is to snorkeling what non-stop sex with a supermodel is to a 5-minute quickie with a pillow.

No offence to those more inclined towards snorkeling, and definitely no offence to the Lord of Snorkeling, but after planning and talking about taking up SCUBA Diving with my wife for ages, I finally found the time to leave 'my wife' behind to sneak a getaway with a certain Liverpool Babe, and went for a Diving weekend in Perhentian Island, as they call it.

As you can probably deduce from the title of this blog, there's just no words to explain it. I know all those 'experienced' divers will probably laugh and say that this budak lebih-lebih pulak, but I speak from the heart. I know that apparently as a snorkeler, there is a higher probability of seeing a shark above water, but with SCUBA diving you get to take a BAS under water.... and do it deeper... whatever la.

It all starts with some basics for Diving, such as sucking on a plastic thingy and blowing into a bigger plastic thingy. All this while on your knees.

Then once the basic few steps are ok, all that is left is to go for a real dive, at a real dive site, albeit for beginners, but it sure beat scrapping your knees just a few feet from the beach. So there we were, Liverpool Babe and myself, maybe 10 meters or a bit more under the waterline, if that's the term, looking at fish poo, and all the other beautiful undersea treasures.

If you're already an experienced diver, maybe my babblings on this topic is not worth anything, but for those of you who have never tried diving, let me paint a picture for you, from a guy's point of view. If you have one from a girl's point of view, you're welcomed to submit it to me.

For Guys. When you snorkel it's basically quite noisy and a bit of effort to breathe, not to mention salty. And you choke more often than not. It's like going down on a wet woman with a funky puss, in the middle of a busy Mumbai intersection. Not good. But diving, let me put it this way, imagine yourself, a supermodel and the magical 69, such that every part of your body is embraced in a tight but loving way, and all the time all the noise in the world is muffled, as your ears are now covered, and your mouth is resting on a warm and moist spot for respiration. Ok maybe you get the occassional salty after-taste, but overall good scenario. And the view is just out of this world. And if the above is not for you, you can always rotate, and muffle the sound some other creative way, which I'm sure I don't have to spell out.

Then again maybe I'm the only one who gets turned on by the whole diving experience. I'm weird that way.

Anyway, on a little bit more serious note, the whole diving experience is really refreshing to the soul in a way that I imagine yoga or meditation is. You are really left in a world of your own, despite having other people around you, it seems as though you are invisible, except to a few of the sea-creatures and bottom-dwellers. AND the noise is minimal, you can really only hear your breathing and your own heartbeat, when was the last time you can truely say you experienced that? AND being in the ocean (cue chorus from OCEAN DEEP by Lord of the Snorkels) somehow gives you the feeling of being able to reach any point that you can see, and in fact actually being able to, total freedom of movement in all axes. AND nobody can talk to you, not that I don't like conversation, but there is a value in silence that sometimes gets lost in our normal daily lives.

So those of you who already dive, teach me more and bring me to the next level!

Those of you who haven't, what are you waiting for?

By the way, you can still maintain vogue when diving, ok? Pornstars can wear aah this kind of shoes???